How to prepare to move abroad. When we are preparing for an international assignment, it is common to focus on all the things that must be done, and all the logistics behind a big international move. We tend to put all our attention on what to take with us.
However, moving internationally requires a certain degree of disposition to be able to detach. Distances, both physical and emotional, will be greater and it is better to face head-on the fact that there are many things that we will have to move on from.
Saying goodbye can be painful and it should be dealt with before the move and in a conscious manner. Avoiding goodbyes may prevent hardship in the present but it will likely come back when you least expect it and magnify some of the challenges of cultural adjustment.
Here you'll find three tips on things to have closure and detach from when preparing for a cultural change.
1. Make a list of your favorite places & say goodbye
I don’t know about you, but I have favorite restaurants and coffee shops. Some places I love for the food and other places I have emotional memories of because it’s where I celebrated birthdays or had happy hours with friends. It’s important to acknowledge that these places are part of our life and say your goodbyes. Before moving, go there one last time and savor the place. Take pictures and remember the good things that happened there.
2. Say proper goodbyes to friends and family
This one is important. Really. Important. Whether you decide to have a goodbye party or not (even if on zoom) it’s important to say heartfelt goodbyes to close friends and family. They are part of your life and will likely be a source of comfort when the challenges of culture adjustment kick in. It’s important not to underestimate the importance of the people who really know you and how instrumental they can be in helping you through your culture transition.
Think of ways to stay connected, either through online chats or video calls. It is common to feel quite lonely during the phase when you don’t feel like a tourist anymore, but you’re still not fully adjusted in your new culture.
Social support is crucial and keeping in touch with your closest friends and family can be the make or break factor in being successfully able to overcome the challenges of culture shock.
3. Write a list of what you are leaving behind
This one is hard. It’s not easy to internally say goodbye. But as with the other tips, it’s important to be conscious of the process of change so you can come out the other end fully embracing the new culture. It’s not to say you’ll forget about your past and relationships. Not at all. This exercise aims to bring to consciousness what you are leaving behind so your life in the past is not idealized. The list can be as long as you like and should include all aspects of life.
It's important to be conscious of what you will not take with you. For some people, it can be physical objects, for others it's all about relationships, it might be about places like the gym, or even a favorite bookstore.
It might seem gruesome to make these lists and go through these negative emotions. Facing these emotions ultimately will make you more aware of your strengths and the better you prepare and deal with these issues, the more equipped you’ll be to navigate through some of the high tides of culture shock.
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About me
I am an expat coach and intercultural psychologist. I am also a seasoned expat, born in Brazil, and lived my childhood in the United States.
Throughout the years I have lived, studied, and worked in 5 different countries on 3 continents. In my many moves, I have experienced successful transitions and many more complete failures. My own experience, coupled with my observation of other people’s experiences, motivated me to search for answers as to why do we sometimes fail and how to succeed when moving to a new culture. This quest led me to pursue a Master's in Intercultural Psychology and complete a coaching certification and a practitioner certification in NLP.
With these tools in hand, I found myself equipped to help expats and expats-to-be overcome the challenges of moving so they can create their best life abroad.
For more about me visit www.deborahdahab.com or GET IN TOUCH HERE.
